Stanford Chaparral

In Butlertown, each butler works for the person in the house to his left. Therefore, no butler is ever home, as he is always tending to the house of his neighbor. This leads to a sense of displacement and discomfort that is most delightfully British.

In Butlertown, everyone gets together for a friendly game of cricket on Sundays. However, since the butlers are required to serve drinks to the players, they are not allowed to play. Dogs are hired to complete the cricket game; they are praised for their skill and panache as they run away.

In Butlertown, everyone secretly loves a brash young woman, Myra Wharton, who lives in a tower in the centre of town. During their evening constitutionals, the butlers gaze into her window and shake their heads imperceptibly, drowning in their sorrows. Myra comments saucily that she would like to be freed from the tower.

In Butlertown, theft and murder are permissible, even expected, but a lack of mustache is punishable by death. All skin in Butlertown is gray.

In Butlertown, a broken limb must be handled with the utmost servitude. Dinner should never be interrupted, and screams are allowed only during the sleeping hours of two and six.

In Butlertown, two citizens were found displaying mutual affection amongst some hedges. The incident was handled discreetly, and the two left early the next morning. Most butlers chalked the event up to a particularly nasty case of consumption. Others pointed out that “consumption” was no longer a real disease.

Athough it’s sometimes sunny in Butlertown, the shadows are always deep and cold. The butlers take a quiet comfort in the realization of this metaphor.

In Butlertown, “Mr. Belvedere” is the second-most watched show on television. The most watched show is “Dukes of Hazard.”