Stanford Chaparral

THEN AND NOW
LEGITIMATE COOL PUPPET COOL
Keith Richards, guitarist for the Rolling Stones, receives heroin intravenously for the entire 60's and lives to be older than God. Kurt Cobain, guitarist for Nirvana, takes some heroin and blows his head off at age 27.
Kent State has violent anti-Vietnam protests, chants of “1-2-3-4, we don't want your fucking war.” Stanford has three people participate in a hunger strike for the Asian-American Studies Program; no catchy slogan.
The Beatles record “Helter Skelter.” Bon Jovi covers “Helter Skelter.”
Whiskey Snapple
Rev. Jim Jones violates the law by assisting in an impressive 900 suicides. Dr. Jack Kevorkian violates the law by assisting in a mere 26 suicides.
Motorcycles Rollerblades
Haight-Ashbury: a Mecca for hippies; home of the Grateful Dead and proprietor of the Acid Tests. Haight-Ashbury: a Mecca for alterna-kids; home of the Gap and proprietor of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.
Easy Rider: Jack Nicholson and Peter Fonda are two bikers travelling cross-country with a money-filled gas tank. They dream of finding freedom. Dumb and Dumber: Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels are two imbeciles travelling cross-country with a money-filled briefcase. They're just imbeciles.
Huge cars that hold everything. Tiny back-packs that hold nothing.
Woodstock I: a free festival of peace, music and love featuring no less than three performers who would die of drug overdoses within two years. Woodstock II: a $500/head marketing scheme sponsored by Pepsi and featuring no more than three performers with two good albums.
Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! Russ Meyer combines three beautiful, buxom, unknown women, sports cars, and double entendres to create an instant cult classic. Showgirls: Paul Verhoeven combines the “not pretty one,” a pick-up truck, and third-grade bathroom humor to create a movie not good enough to be called “B.”
Charles Manson and his “family” kill two women as revenge against the music industry. A deranged fan stabs Monica Seles as revenge against the tennis world.
Jim Morrison is “The Lizard King.” James Earl Jones is “The Lion King.”