Stanford Chaparral

1.

You: Is this the 5th dimension?
Secretary: Yes, it is.
You: Is this Mr. Davenport's office?
Secretary: Yes. Please have a seat.

2.

You: Where shall I sit?
Secretary: On the couch will be fine.
You: [betrayed] What couch?

3.

Shape of Mr. Davenport: I have been replaced by glyphs from 500-Xenlon. Your eyes are deceived, human.
You: Ha, ha. That's quite funny. sir.
Shape of Mr. Davenport: I'm fucking serious! [easily walks through wall]

4.

Mr. Davenport: We need you to program a game where a gay sausage delivers newspapers to a Norwegian village.
You: I'd be happy to, sir.
Mr. Davenport: The kids will love it.

5.

You: Sir, what health benefits does your company offer?
Mr. Davenport: Ohna mankalq, hrul. mai-mEk; plus full dental.
You: That's wonderful [I think].